A somewhat complete collection of what I bought in one month. Yes, there are three William Rast bags. I disgust myself - but then I remember that I only spent $50 of my own money there and I don't feel so bad. Gift cards rule when they are to stores you like.

I’m never really one for resolutions, only because I know that I will break them by the second week of January. I also try to convince myself that if I want to do something bad enough, I don’t need a new year to do so. But at the end of last year, I was so optimistic. 2009 was going to be my year. I was going to get into college, I was going to enjoy being a second semester senior, I was going to spend every second with my friends and family before leaving for college; I had a lot of plans. And it’s safe to say that January-June of 2009 kicked me swiftly in the ass and turned my normally optimistic self into a woman I really did not like. I was pessimistic, I began to hate my extracurriculars at school that were once what drove me to do my best. I was frustrated with people and I hated that people I could usually count on were flaking on me and didn’t even seem to care or notice that they were doing it. I pushed myself too hard and worked so hard for things that really didn’t matter and I convinced myself that people would appreciate what I was doing, but not many people did. My family life, which had always been stable no matter how many cracks I could see in it, actually started to crumble. I’d never experienced what it was like to not be happy with my life before and it scared me so bad that I couldn’t even talk to anyone about it, not even my best friends. My transition to college wasn’t as smooth as I had expected it to be and that scared me because I’m not used to not having a lot of friends or not knowing what to do in every situation.

I made 18 resolutions just over a year ago; out of those, I’ve kept five. And they were the stupid ones, like finally starting to use my blinkers when I drive. They were the tangible ones, the easy ones; the ones you made because you know you can realistically keep them with minimal effort. I hate that the resolutions that mean so much more to me, that I really wanted to keep were the ones that fell through the cracks.

I think I thought I liked 2009 more than I really did; it was the year I graduated from high school, the year I spent four years chanting at rallies and wearing on various school event t-shirts. And it was good to me, sometimes; it gave me so many milestones. But looking at this list, it didn’t really give me what I really wanted. So hey, maybe because I’m not building 2010 up or giving it extra hype, I might actually get a good start on the other 13 resolutions I made. I know I’m capable because I know I’m smarter and more determined than I give myself credit for, and I know that keeping some of these resolutions mean facing things about myself that I’ve been too scared to confront for the past 19 years, and I know it won’t be easy. But I’m going to try because I would be cheating myself by not trying. And because one of my favorite quotes that has gotten me through a lot of really rough times in my life still seems to hold true in this scenario: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

See you in four months, Cupertino. Maybe I’ll be a little bit more of a changed woman, and maybe not. But here’s what I’m looking forward to when I come back in May.

I didn't even have to lie about it being my birthday. You're welcome, BJ's.

But it’s okay. California (and its real, non-deceiving sunshine) in two tests, two oral exams, four finals, and 16 days.

When I committed to Mizzou, I legitimately had my mother book me a plane ticket back to Cupertino for the weekend of Homecoming (which, luckily for me this year, was two weeks earlier and therefore didn’t clash with my cousin’s wedding!) so I could come back. A lot of people seemed surprised that I came home for it considering Missouri isn’t exactly a 45 minute plane ride from Cupertino, but Homecoming really has been one of the biggest parts of high school for me. I wanted to come back to see the floats, the rally, court, my friends, and actually be able to sit through the entire football game without the stress of having to run around fixing little details.

Homecoming

I left Mizzou right after my last class on Thursday to catch the MO-X, which is a shuttle that goes between either the Kansas City or St. Louis airport from Mizzou, which took about two hours.  I was lucky to get out so early because the traffic was INSANE considering the Nebraska game was that night (sigh, don’t even get me started on that game, though). On the way to Denver, I finally started to watch Glee (amazing!) and am now obsessed and very upset that I have to wait until Nov. 11 for new episodes. The cool thing about traveling home is that I have to stop in Denver on most of the flights, so when Whitney and I found this out, we immediately planned to get the same flight from Denver to SFO/San Jose together whenever we were both flying home for holidays. We booked the same flight to California for that Thursday night and it wasn’t until the pilot announced that we were making our descent into Denver that I kind of just sat up and realized I was actually going to be seeing Whitney. It sounds weird, but I hadn’t seen her in nearly two months and when you go from seeing someone so often to not at all for seven weeks, it’s kind of brutal. I texted her when I landed and headed out into the gates which were extremely crowded because we were at the end of the terminal. I saw the gate for San Jose and so I headed over there to sit down since I figured she wasn’t at the airport yet — but then I saw a girl that looked exactly like her, so I started walking over and quickly realized it wasn’t her. Imagine my surprise when I stopped to get a grip on the situation, I turn around and see Whitney sitting on the chair right next to me. It took us a second to realize it was each other but when we did, we kind of caused a scene. People stared, babies cried, and it was wonderful.

When I got home on Thursday I spent time catching up with my family, which was really nice. On Friday I woke up feeling like I should be worrying about the rally, so it was nice that I was actually able to just relax. I dropped my mom off at work and then picked up Whitney and Tamer and headed to the rally, which was absolutely PHENOMENAL. Plus, it’s always nice to see an upset. I walked around campus and visited with old teachers and spent lots of time in the office (obviously) and then went to go see the kids in Leadership. I was under the impression that I’d be picking Ryan up from Stanford later in the afternoon because he had classes, so I was really surprised and happy to see him when he biked home early. I ended up spending about two hours in A111 (what a surprise, right? I guess some things just don’t ever change…) before heading to the game with Ryan. We saw the floats, which were great, and saw a bunch of people as well as tons of 09ers who had come back which was fabulous. After the game, we went to In n Out and there ended up being around 30 of us which was so nice. It’s kind of cool how when you go off to college, you can come back and talk to just about anybody from your high school class so easily.

On Saturday I had a really nice breakfast with my family before Niket and I ran some errands around town (which included a quick shopping trip at Nordstrom Rack, YAY) and we had some nice time to catch up with each other about our lives. After that, Ryan and I headed up to Stanford where I got a tour of the campus, which was nice because as close as Stanford is, I realized I really hadn’t been “inside” it. We picked up Lucia and went to San Jose to see a ComedySportz game before going back to Cupertino to hang out for the rest of the night. I ended up staying up all night since between getting home from Ryan’s house and having to get up to get ready for my 7am flight, I would have only gotten two hours of sleep. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but totally backfired when my flight from Denver to Kansas City got delayed by about three hours and I ended up being at an airport for much longer than I would have liked. My 12-hour flying day ended up turning into a 20-hour one and I eventually got back to my dorm around 11:30pm on Sunday night with tons of homework to do, but it was totally worth it for the weekend I had. It was just so nice to, after two months of attempting to make new friends and learn new names and tell people your major, be with people who actually know you. It just really reaffirmed the fact that I know that some of the friends I made in high school really will be some of my best friends for the rest of my life.

Atlanta

I left Mizzou around 6am last Thursday to get to Atlanta and the entire flying process was much smoother than my Homecoming experience, so I was really happy about that. I met my brother at the airport since his flight landed a little after mine and we took the MARTA before getting picked up at the station by our parents. By the time we got to my aunt and uncle’s house, it was around 5pm and the wedding festivities had begun. The house was intensely decorated and it made me really excited for the whole weekend. I spent Thursday night getting my mendi done as well as getting to know some of Pankti didi’s friends who were bridesmaids and also tons of family that I hadn’t seen in a long time since they all flew in for the wedding. It was crazy being introduced to all these people who knew me, yet I had no idea who they were — “Oh, the last time I saw you, you were in diapers!” was the common quotation of the night. It was nice, though, because this was the first time I was able to start really figuring out how I was related to each person because before, I was too young to even try and process my Indian family tree.

My mom's mendi hadn't come off quite yet, but then again, she is a little more patient than me.

On Friday morning we had the pooja, which was really interesting. It was just for the bride’s side, so Jed and his family were doing other stuff (golfing, I think!). It’s probably the first pooja I’ve sat through without being ridiculously bored and I credit a lot of that to the family pundit that was there to explain everything that was happening and why it was happening. I got to help out with a few things and it was nice to be able to know the significance of not only what I was doing, but also why I was the one doing it. Some highlights: the “giving away” of the bride where my aunt’s brothers and their families walked into the house singing and with gifts for Pankti; my dad and three other “uncles” burying the wedding notice outside the house to go back to the tradition of how in India people used to put the wedding notices in their yard so that everyone in the neighborhood knew about the wedding; each guest putting some tumeric-based formula on Pankti’s face (and legs, hands, neck, etc… it was everywhere!) as a “facial” ritual because apparently it gives a very nice glow for the wedding. There was lunch after that, and then later in the evening the immediate family had a rehearsal dinner with Jed’s family which was very nice because it was the first time I met a lot of Jed’s family and friends, and they were all super fabulous and now I have like, five open houses to stay at when I travel up to the northeast for my history buff journey. Super exciting. After the dinner, we changed out of our western dresses into some Indian clothes for the raas garba. There was tons of dancing with daandya and I actually got to teach some people how to do it! There were some awesome performances for the bride and groom including some Indian dancing, a performance of “Can You Feel The Love Tonight?” sung by a 7-year-old, and a live rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Another highlight of the evening was dancing with all my Indian uncles who quite enjoyed the combination of alcohol and dancing. Downside: dancing in heels.

By the time Saturday rolled around, we were just thankful it wasn’t raining since it had poured all day Friday. The wedding moved outside to its original location. I was actually really excited for the wedding because it was the first bigger wedding I’d been to and the fact that it was a fusion wedding was really intriguing. I spent the morning helping my aunt and uncle with some last minute preparations at the hotel and handling those last minute tasks that end up being extra stressful so close to the ceremony. Overall the entire ceremony was absolutely beautiful and so hard to explain without going into ridiculous amounts of detail, but it was a great mix of the Indian and Catholic ceremonies and traditions. Father Dye and Pundit Majmudar both did a wonderful job explaining each part of the ceremony so that guests from both sides could learn about what was going on and why it was a ritual in the ceremony. One of my favorite parts of the pre-ceremony was the baraat which was when all the guests from the bride’s side stand at the ceremony site while the wedding party and the groom’s family is led by a car up the street. They dance to the music the car is blasting and the groom rides in behind them on a huge, decked out horse. When they get closer, the bride’s immediate family goes out to join the dance party as a symbol of the bride’s family accepting the groom’s family into their lives. Jed got so into it that he got off the horse and danced with us. IT WAS AWESOME. My favorite part of the ceremony itself was the mangal phera which is the circling of the fire by the couple seven times; it symbolizes the seven vows they later took for each other. They walk around four times led by Jed, and the last three times are led by Pankti to symbolize their equal leadership and partnership in the marriage. I also became aware of one of the traditions of the bride’s cousin (aka: me) where I had to steal Jed’s shoes during the ceremony and hold them hostage. And when the groom comes asking for them, you aren’t supposed to give them back without some sort of compensation. My mom says the traditional starting bid is $1,001 but I felt kind of bad so I decided to give him an ultimatum: my college tuition (public, though out of state!) or a new pair of Ugg boots. He chose Ugg boots — smart man.

Niket and I on the day of the ceremony. This sari took me about an hour to get into and twenty minutes to get out of. Life.

The reception was just so much fun. It was really western with toasts and speeches from people after the bride & groom were formally introduced for the first time. Everything about it was lovely, from the dances (bride and groom, father/daughter, mother/son) to the speeches (my uncle’s had everybody bawling, seriously) and the WONDERFUL FOOD (naan & chicken with pasta & roast beef… what a surprisingly wonderful combination). We danced for at least four hours straight and it was so much fun, but again, I really should have taken off the heels. There was a nice mix of Hindi and western music and my personal favorite part of the night was watching the Indian uncles continue with Indian dance moves to songs like “Down” and “Cyclone”. There was lots of teaching going on and I’m pretty sure Jed now has better Indian dance moves than I do. There were plenty of “break dance” circles and there were just certain songs that had everyone going nuts in the best way possible. By the end of the night around 2am, everyone was exhausted but in the best way possible. My cousin looked beautiful, radiant, and so happy the entire time and you really can’t wish for much more than that.

On Sunday morning there was another brunch/reception at the house for people who couldn’t be invited to all the actual wedding events, so my brother and I were greeting everyone at the house as well as giving some house tours (I contemplated charging but I figured I already had a pair of Ugg boots from the wedding…). I also had a chance to actually just talk to Jed and some of his family without the chaos of the wedding surrounding us and it was really nice since now they really were family. And freakin’ cool at that. Niket and I got a ride from our new friend, Christina, and her parents to the airport and the flight back to Missouri two hours and I passed out before the plane even took out and didn’t wake up until we had touched down in St. Louis. I ended up meeting Kacie (she had gone home for the weekend) and we took the MO-X back to our dorm together, which was nice.

Overall, the entire weekend was beyond my wildest expectations. I really can’t describe to you how much was going on or how crazy the decorations were. It was beautiful, though. And it was a really nice weekend for my family, even though there were lots of moments of tension and stress, but I have come to accept and (somewhat) love that about the four of us. I know I’m not really the most “Indian” person out there, but this wedding just did something for me in showing me how rich in tradition my culture is, and I honestly enjoyed every moment of it. So my parents were very happy when I told them that I would consider a wedding like this — even if I do end up marrying a white guy! If you want any more details (or just pictures), you can always ask me because I’m always up for talking and sharing. I blogged about Pankti’s engagement back in January, and being able to actually see the entire thing, watch my family expand, and see just how happy she is… it was the best weekend I’ve had in a long time.

On the first, Jordan (who is like my go-to girl when someone is at Jesse. Like, we’ve pretty much reached the agreement that we will accompany each other to every person who speaks at Jesse no matter who they are) went to go see Peter Bergen, which was part of the Mizzou Reads program since all students read A Thousand Splendid Suns over the summer. He’s a foreign correspondent for CNN who conducted the first ever television interview with Osama in 1997 has done extensive work in Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan.  He talked for about an hour the state of those countries now and how they got there. It was really interesting because I’ve always wanted to keep up with the news in the Middle East seeing as it’s been present through my entire life, but it’s like… where do you even begin to try and understand all that? He really opened my eyes to all the background information about the countries and what they are like right now. I was pretty surprised that not many people showed up since it was publicized so heavily. It sort of sent me back to the days of high school when you spend weeks publicizing an event and doing it well (or at least you think so!) and the turnout is less than you expected. But the people who were there were really interested in the presentation, so it all evened out. He had a Q&A session for about half and hour, and though I didn’t ask a question, I was so intrigued by what my fellow peers were thinking and wondering. Sometimes in the routine of your regular classes where people normally just throw out a “will this be on the test?” (yes, I’m serious. It still happens in college.) you forget how intellectual most people are. I know that sounds stupid, but it was kind of that moment that I realized I was in college. A place where people like Peter Bergen came to give lectures about real world issues — a place where people cared about real world issues and wanted to know ways they could get involved to make a change. After the presentation, he had a book signing and I had my summer reading book signed. I decided to ask him a question that had kind of been bubbling inside of me through the entire presentation, though it really wasn’t that deep or whatever. I asked him if it ever freaks him out to know that in 1997, he stood inches away from and had a full conversation with someone who, four years later, would be behind something as devastating September 11. He looked at me and just kind of smiled and said, “No.” I told him that I admired him for that because I’d probably pee my pants if I were him. Then he said, “Okay, maybe a little.” Ha. I knew it, Peter Bergen.

Family weekend was from Sept. 11-13 and since my parents didn’t come, I went to see Mike Birbiglia with Jordan and her mom on Friday night in Jesse. He’s pretty famous and is on Comedy Central and is absolutely hilarious so I suggest you look him up on YouTube if you haven’t heard his stuff! He made lots of cracks about Missouri and white people and it was grand. It was a really nice way to spend an evening because I kind of like to laugh a lot. I didn’t realize how much seeing families all over campus and at the football game on Saturday would make me miss my parents, so it was nice to be able to spend time with Jordan and her mom (and her dad, who came to the football game with us! Briton’s dad was also there, which was cool) and feel a sense of family again. After the show we went to the Heidelberg which is a famous restaurant in downtown. I even got a care package from Jordan’s mom that consisted of rice krispie treats, chocolate chip cookies, and brownies!

Tonight was probably my favorite speaker that I saw at Jesse — Lisa Ling! Hopefully you know who she is! She’s working with Oprah Winfrey right now as a correspondent as well as some other stuff with National Geographic. It was put on by the Delta Gamma Lectureship so the entire middle section was saved for girls in Delta Gamma which kind of sucked considering I got in line at 5:55pm after my journalism class — doors opened at 7pm, fml. She spent about 45 minutes talking about various stories she’s done and also spent a lot of time talking about how exactly she got to where she was as a journalist which was obviously something people wanted to know considering the nature of this school. I have to say, being a journalism major at Mizzou has major perks. So many things are catered to you! I’m definitely spoiled. The stories she showed us and places she has traveled to report on — Afghanistan (at the age of 16!), India, China, etc. — were phenomenal and so inspirational. I’d argue that my senior year of high school, I did so much more management work than actual writing and Lisa’s lecture really brought me back to why I originally was interested in journalism — being curious about everything and wanting to hear people’s story. Lisa is ridiculously funny, charismatic, articulate, and super sweet. It’s nice to be able to have the chance to interact with such successful people in your future field and be able to travel through their own experiences. And even though there are so many different avenues of journalism, and even though most journalists won’t get the kind of recognition that Lisa does, you feel a sense of connection to her. The way she talks about keeping in touch with her sources because they’re people who have shared their life stories with her — it reminds me one story I wrote my senior year that had a profound impact on me because of the people I interviewed and observed for it. She spent some time talking about the current state of journalism and, like Peter Bergen, talked about the positives and negatives of the Internet. But, also like Peter Bergen, she still has hope for the field. For people (many of which are my peers) to continue to explore their curiosity and to continue telling magnificent stories of those whose stories deserve to be told. To tell stories to raise awareness and help those in need. She ended the lecture with something that Oprah had told her and honestly, it resounded with me, too: “You know. And now you can’t pretend you don’t know.”

I’m saving all my ticket stubs from speakers and presentations I attend at Jesse. It’s crazy that I can attend events like this for no price at all, and I intend on taking full advantage of it. One of my favorite things about college is the amount of outside stimulation you have access to. You can find things you’re interested in and find so many things to develop that interest with. Color me excited.

On an unrelated note: I love getting packages. Yesterday, I got my 36 pack of Easy Mac cups. Today I got my new pair of William Rast shorts (on sale!) which is convenient because yesterday I found out William Rast is launching their very first pop-up stores in November. One will be in Century City and the other in (drumroll, please…) VALLEY FAIR MALL, SANTA CLARA! I am so excited. Yes, I will be applying for a summer job there while at home for Thanksgiving break. It’s fate, because my new shorts make it so I have 7 pairs of William Rast jeans/shorts, so I could work a full Monday-Friday without a repeat outfit! It’s fate, baby.

So after the first week of school sort of settled down, I started to think about how much I wanted to work out. I definitely reasoned that if I just made a schedule and started, I would work myself into a habit and then I wouldn’t dread going to the Rec Center anymore. I figured I owed it to my dad (and his bank account) to make use of the delightful features of the Rec. I was about to go running one day but, being the genius that I am, I realized I left my running shoes in California, and I wasn’t about to run 5 miles in Converse. I started checking eBay for some shoes and then contemplated getting on public transport to get to the mall and pick some up but since when have I ever paid retail for anything, really (tangent: I got a pair of Sevens that are already hemmed to my inseam for $13.49 including shipping, booyah!)? I resorted to looking on Craigslist and managed to find someone on campus who was selling Nike Shox for $50. It worked out really well that I didn’t have to pay shipping, got a bargain, and could get the shoes almost instantly.

Let me just tell you… Craiglist meetings are super shady. I agreed to meet the guy at the corner of Virginia and Kentucky Ave. and I took Kacie and Jordan with me for protection, obviously. We reached the corner and I saw a guy who looked pretty friendly who had a black bag with him. He was texting, so I figured that was him. I walked across the crosswalk and made eye contact with him and said, “Hola!” but he didn’t respond. Like, at all. So then I said: “Are you… um… do you have the…” gesturing to the bag obviously, “the Nikes?” I swear, I might as well have just asked him to hand over crack or something. He looked at me and he was like “I’m sorry, I don’t even know you.” Meanwhile Jordan and Kacie are obviously laughing at my expense… and then we see another guy sitting on a bench with two neon green Nike shoeboxes and waving over to us. Oops. We went over to him and… he had a grill. I basically tried on a pair of shoes and within thirty seconds (without even tying the laces) I just assumed they would fit and handed him the money and walked away extremely rapidly. I tried to make conversation with him (which, thanks to Jordan and Kacie, I know now I was apparently not supposed to) but things got awkward really fast. But I had my running shoes, so I could start my work outs!

Now, I’m pretty out of shape. I can run fine and all that good stuff that being 18 does for you, but weights and toning? Yeah, that’s not me. But I’ve made a schedule that sits right above the list of TV channels on my bulletin board and this is my first week doing it and so far… I think it’ll be good.

On Mondays after my journalism class ends at 6pm, I head to the Rec and do a “fitness” workout for 20 minutes. It’s set by your weight, height, and gender and varies in speed and incline for the 20 minute period so it’s not too hard and it’s a nice warm up. Then I ran for 25 minutes and I swear, I haven’t run like that since freshman year P.E. and it felt so good. I watched two episodes of How I Met Your Mother and it was fabulous, except that I laughed out loud a few times and some people heard me. Oops.

On Tuesday, Kacie and I went to a TigerX class (they are workout classes offered by trainers at the Rec and there’s like, a gazillion of them) called “Corefusion” which was super intense. We did a lot of work on our core and our legs, and while I didn’t feel sore doing any of them, I definitely felt it the next day. On Wednesday, we went to a class called “Booty Call” which specifically targets your thighs and butt. I refer to it as Chinese torture because it is the most intense class of my entire life. I could barely walk out of the Rec and going up stairs was a challenge. When I was in the shower, I basically had to accept that my legs would not lift above 15 degrees. I think the thing that’s going to keep me going back to that class is the fact that when you’re doing the squats and lunges, you can feel your muscles being worked. Then today, we went to a class called “Absolution” (right after our floor had dinner together. Um, bad idea.) which was pretty brutal. We used the flex-balls a lot and there were times I literally slipped off of mine while doing crunches. We worked our abs and lower back and our obliques. Seriously, lifting your legs and holding them up with your abs is ridiculously hard. Mega-props to Britney Spears because now that I know how hard those exercises are on you, it’s crazy to see her abs. She is totally my ab-inspiration. One time, I did 5,000 crunches in a day because she said she did that! That was in the 10th grade and I’m way smarter now.

Last Friday, we got airbrush tattoos. Mine says "WARRIOR" so I'm hoping that inspires me to fight through the urge to eat M&Ms instead of work out.

Tomorrow I’m going to go back and run or go on an elliptical, which should be a nice break from the toning/strengthening I’ve been doing. I also will make less of a fool of myself because I actually know how to run on a treadmill without falling off (I can’t really say the same for Booty Call when I fell over backwards when we had to balance on a flex-ball and pull our feet up to the ceiling with resistance ropes on them). I figure it’s a nice schedule to have cardio on Mondays and Fridays and then have three days of toning in between those. I’m taking the weekends off to let my body relax. So far, I think I really will stick to this plan and I really like it. I definitely feel good that I’m working out and attempting to be way healthier than I was in high school — I feel like in college, you have so much more time to really take care of yourself, and that’s nice. I don’t really have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight. I’m just trying to feel healthy and stay active because I know it’ll be good in the long run (thanks, physio!). And then maybe if I lose some weight, my dad will be more willing to pay for my new William Rast jeans!

When I first started looking at colleges around this time last year, I had my heart set on big schools in big cities — Boston, New York, Los Angeles. Places I saw myself living and working in. I applied to schools like Arizona State and Mizzou on a whim, mostly because I knew they were easy to get into and had early rolling decision so I would have the satisfaction of being admitted into college in October and December of my senior year. And even though when I visited BU’s campus in January of my junior year, I realized I actually didn’t like how big and “city-esque” it was, I still managed to convince myself that I belonged to a school like that. I’m not trying to preach to the new seniors because I feel like the experience of applying, being accepted, and being rejected from colleges is one that you can’t really understand until you’ve gone through it. All I can say is that you will end up where you are supposed to be — even though I know that sounds cliche and I would never believe it if I was a current senior reading this. But just trust me. Or don’t, and just wait for me to say “I told you so!” around this time next year :)

So one of Mizzou’s biggest traditions is the annual Tiger Walk. It was started 15 years ago and involves the famous columns that stand in front of one of Mizzou’s trademark buildings, Jesse Hall. In 1892, Academic Hall burned down and all that was left of it was the columns. The Board of Curators voted to take the columns down because they looked “ugly” but local Columbians protested and managed to preserve the columns, which are now nestled in the vast expanse known as the Francis Quadrangle (“The Quad”). Every year on the day before classes start, the freshman class lines up at the columns so that they are facing Jesse Hall and Mizzou. They then walk (well, run…) through the columns together to symbolize their entrance into the university as a class and as part of the Mizzou family. They are greeted by professors and fellow students who give them free Tiger Stripes ice cream which is famous in Columbia and absolutely DELICIOUS. On the flip side, when students graduate, they walk through the columns once more — this time, they start as a class near Jesse Hall, looking out to the city of Columbia. They walk through the columns as graduates to symbolize their entrance into the community and are greeted by Mizzou alumni with champagne (rumor has it some people even get lucky enough to land jobs!).

These are the columns and Jesse Hall behind them to the left.

My floor met in our lounge and walked over to Jesse together and took pictures with each other as well as watched Truman (our lifesized Tiger mascot. He is a flirt, let me tell you that.) hung out with all the students and took tons of pictures. We heard the fight song a gazillion times and then heard some speakers, including the chancellor of the university. When the last speaker was ending her speech, it was seriously like the crowd was bumrushing the columns, so she finally had to expedite her speech so it still sounded all epic and such (“I’m so proud to welcome you to the Mizzou family. I still remember my days on this very quad… anyways… welcome to… WELCOMETOMIZZOUCLASSOF2013!!”). I’m really lucky that I was in the second row because I’m pretty sure I would have been trampled (again. No, I am not still bitter about last year’s welcome rally). After I got to the other side, I got my Tiger Stripes ice cream with my roommate Kacie and managed to find Jordan and Maddie. We all hung around and watched the pre-football season concert that involved the Golden Girls, drumline, and color guard. They were all pretty sick — I used the flip video camera my dad gave me before I left to record a lot of their performances, so it’s a nice memory to have.

Maddie, Jordan, me, and Kacie with our ice cream after Tiger Walk!

Right before we walked through the columns, a senior on the student alumni board spoke to us and I felt like she was inside my head last May. She was talking about how this was a new chapter of our lives and that we were standing among future lifelong friends. She told us to enjoy every moment of college because four years would fly by before we knew it. And I know this is true, because it’s not much different than high school. I was lucky to have had a blast in high school, and I understand exactly what she meant. But to be honest, it was weird hearing it from the other side — the side that is about to embark on this four year adventure that I can only hope will be as great as my high school one was. It all sounds so idealistic when it first starts and as much as you want to believe that things will snap into place and become awesome, you know that you have to put effort into it and put yourself out there for that to happen. But it really isn’t that easy.

To be honest, it’s been really tough for me. There have been numerous times in the past few days that I’ve wished that I had actually applied to more than one UC and that, had I been accepted, chosen to go there and known more than two people at the school. It’s kind of terrifying to be surrounded by people who are from high schools where 50% of their fellow seniors are attending Mizzou, or people who know plenty of upperclassmen at Mizzou, or people who have grown up around the area and have known that Mizzou was where they wanted to go since they were five years old. I’m not a shy person by any means, but I’ve been terrified to talk to people here. Are you being too invasive, just jumping into conversation with someone? Is it okay to just pop in to someone’s room if their door is open and strike up a conversation or ask to grab a coffee? They say everyone is in the same boat and looking to make friends and deep down, I know it’s true, but it’s scary to me that I haven’t really been able to make friends the way I always thought I could.

I don’t really feel homesick for Cupertino. I’m doing fine living on my own and only talking to my parents and brother by phone. I just miss the people who know me and I miss being someone who knows a lot of people — someone who can drive down Stevens Creek and wave at someone I recognize, or walk around in Target and keep a tally of how many people I run into that I know. Every time I get a text or e-mail from someone back home, I miss the fact that I don’t have people here who understand me and laugh at my jokes and understand my sense of humor and make fun of me for it (never thought you’d hear me say that, huh?). I miss my best friend. I miss knowing where the eff I am geographically. I want to make new friends here, I really do, but I’ve never been good at being patient or secure about myself which seems to be a fatal combination here so far. That sounds very depressing but I guess I don’t really feel like myself here yet. I’m hoping that’ll change as I start classes tomorrow and start to join different organizations. Until that happens, I take comfort in looking at the pictures on my walls and by listening to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.

But now, on a lighter note, I have been mentally jotting down some things as I experience Mizzou for the first few days and rather than writing more about them than is really necessary, I present to you… A LIST.

Natasha’s Profound College Thoughts, Part 1.

- Easy Mac really does taste better when you’re in college.

- I love Asians. Like, seriously. Today I forced my roommate to eat at the Asian-themed dining hall where I introduced her to szechuan chicken. It wasn’t as good as Mr. Ho’s (he was the caterer at my school in Singapore and he was AWESOME) but as my roommate pointed out, it would be kind of scary if Asian food in Missouri was better than Asian food in Singapore.

- I also miss Asians enough that I am going to an Asian-American students meeting! I think Ryan called this one. Bravo.

Pretty clever club name, huh?

- If you ever visit Mizzou, do NOT wear an Illinois sweatshirt. I borrowed one from Jordan when I went to Target late at night and the student host teased me about it but I laughed because I was cold and didn’t understand what he was saying. Then on the bus he started talking about the football opener (State Farm Arch Rivalry game, Sept. 5, against ILLINOIS) and was like “Where’s the girl wearing the Illinois sweatshirt?” and the entire bus started to boo so as he said “I think she’s hiding!” I made Kacie cover me while I took it off and stuffed it in my purse. The midwest is brutal.

- We had our first floor hall meeting today and it was fun. I’ve noticed a good way to break the ice and/or make people laugh is talking about alcohol and not messing up other people’s nights just because you had a good night. My PA (Peer Advisor), Ashley, is really cool so that’s been good.

- I’m considering running for my hall’s floor government but I’m not sure yet because I’m kind of nervous about campaigning. I’ve never actually liked it and doing it in front of people I don’t even know is daunting. Weird, I know.

- Tiger Stripe ice cream is SO GOOD.

- It isn’t weird for me that people in California are 2 hours behind (especially since it took me like, three days to realize my gmail was still set in the Pacific time zone) but it’s MINDBLOWING that people in New York are only one hour ahead and that I get to watch Gossip Girl and How I Met Your Mother when they are airing for the FIRST time in New York. I never paid attention to the whole “9/8 central” deal on TV before. Like whenever I read an article or see a commercial that has a time of a show I want to watch, I have to double check with my roommate that I’ve put ther right “central” time on the post-it that goes on the TV as a reminder. MINDBLOWING.

- There is a Starbucks and Chipotle right across the street from the building where my honors course is. I have it once a week from 1-2pm, so I do believe this may become a weekly lunch treat for myself. Thanks, Dad. You kick a$$.

- I’ve done a lot of walking and classes haven’t even started. But I don’t really miss my car.

- Our mascot, Truman, spent most of the time at the volleyball game we were at on Friday night talking to little junior high girls instead of taking pictures with me and Jordan. We did get him to do a 5 minute long photo session though. He sure is photogenic.

I choose YOU.

- I’m kind of nervous for classes, especially because my “fun” music class is apparently the most impossible class on campus. I’m hoping my Monta Vista background will kick in and save me on this one. Memorization and scantrons FTW!

- Apples to Apples is a fabulous way to get to know people.

- I was supposed to go to two parties on Saturday night but instead I got sick from the chocolate lava cake from Domino’s that we ordered on Friday after the volleyball game so I ended up sleeping all through Saturday (which included a concert by The Spill Canvas right next to my dorm. Convenient, right?) before waking up to watch Battle of the Bay. I did think it was funny when my brother called and I told him I was sick, he assumed it was because I got sick FROM a party on Friday night. Sorry, bro. It wasn’t really how I envisioned my first Saturday in college but whatever. You win some (LIKE THE NINERS), you lose some (LIKE THE RAIDERS). And I hear there are more parties. Just a rumor, though.

This is all. This got a little longer than I expected, as it is already 11:43pm and in order for me to get my required 8 hours of sleep, I needed to be in bed — oh wait! My first class is at 11am! That’s right. I do love some parts of college a lot. I’m not sure when I will blog again but hopefully it will be soon to tell you how college is a blast and I didn’t know what I was talking about when I ever thought otherwise.

Until then, depending on who you are: enjoy your first few days back in high school, your first “real” college classes, or your continual days of sleeping in because you don’t start school until September.

So before I went off to college, my dad had “five father points” that he enlightened me with during the course of the summer. They were just basic things he wanted me to know before I headed off to college and while I won’t divulge all of them, there was one that both he and Whitney had told me to do — make lifelong friends. So I figured, who better to become friends with first than the very state I would be spending the next four years of my life in? Well, let’s just say that my friendship with Missouri has started off very shaky.

I left Cupertino around 2pm on Sunday, after a very representative last 24 hours in the bay. This included (but is not limited to): cops, vandalism, leadership, e-mails, Facebook, pearl milk tea, Noah’s, Safeway, Donut Wheel, and friends (though saying goodbye to them this time around was not as casual as it normally is). I took one of those “last looks” at my room, but it really didn’t seem like that kind of moment even though I knew it was. Traveling through Cupertino, I sort of just took everything in. All the places I see every day while driving back from Ryan’s house, but never really look at until I realize I won’t be seeing them every day. We stopped off at the library where I rushed to return some of my dad’s books and DVDs — it was a nice place to stop by because I feel like the library is a unique piece of Cupertino (I won’t state the obvious reason why). I even got to see a crazy Asian lady driver! While my dad cursed, I was secretly thanking her for making my last few moments in Cupertino totally perfect.

The drive up to the airport consisted of silence and then financial talk about credit cards and options for me. I tried not to think about the stuff I knew would make me cry, so it was a nice way to just talk about something totally different. We unloaded our bags at SFO and my dad headed off to go park the car and we realized we couldn’t check-in all the bags without him there so my mom and I waited outside for him. I was pretty content soaking up the crisp San Francisco air until my mom told me she wanted to go inside to the air conditioning. I was kind of opposed to this because I really was enjoying the weather but she sort of took off inside that I really had no choice. I walked inside the terminal and when I looked to my left, I saw three faces I was totally not expecting to see at the airport — Ryan, Whitney, and Lucia! It was by far the highlight of my day (and made me understand why none of them had cried when we said “goodbye” earlier while I was bawling my eyes out). We hung out in the food court until around 4pm when I really had to head through security. Saying goodbye twice was hard, but it was the perfect send-off and had me smiling through the entire flight to Denver.

We reached Denver about ten minutes late so when we got off the flight, we skipped the food courts (much to my stomach’s dismay) and headed straight to our connecting flight which was in the process of boarding already. We boarded the flight and looked to be running on time until we realized we had been sitting in the plane at the gate for way longer than normal. The captain then informed us that we were waiting on some late connecting flights as well as putting extra fuel on the flight because the weather was questionable so we would have to head more west to avoid it, therefore needed more fuel. Eventually we took off with the plan of arriving to Kansas City forty-five minutes past our original arrival time of midnight central time. I fell asleep really fast on the flight but about an hour in, I woke up because I was no longer sitting on my seat. My mom had grabbed my hand and I realized we were in extreme turbulence. I’m a pretty seasoned traveler so it didn’t bother me too much, but I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d had this kind of turbulence. This was the kind of turbulence where you would hit an air pocket and the entire plane would shake and then all of a sudden, before you could get a grip on anything or tighten your seatbelt, the plane is jumping up ten feet before dipping another ten feet and your butt isn’t even on the seat the entire time. People started to scream and instantly I heard people start to throw up and cry (or in the case of one woman, do both at the same time). I had to force myself to take a few deep breaths and just calm myself down and remind myself that I’ve been on hundreds of flights and I’ve come out of all of them alive. We eventually found our way out of the main turbulence but the entire rest of the way, my window was lit up with lightning from the clouds. It was gorgeous, but it was also a scary indication of just how awful the storm in Kansas City was. Finally the captain let us know we were descending into Kansas City. The flight attendants stayed strapped into their seats, and I watched out the window as the lights of Kansas City got closer and closer to us. I heard the rumblings of landing gear coming out and I prepared to keep my eyes glued to the window like I do whenever my flight is landing. But just as we were about to land, the plane began to pick up speed and all of a sudden we were climbing — rapidly. It was the fastest climb I’ve ever had on a flight and that was when I knew something was going on. I flinched every time we entered a cloud, knowing that we would be dipping and shaking and rumbling. The captain then informed us that a landing in Kansas City wasn’t safe at all since the weather had worsened incredibly and that we didn’t have enough fuel to wait it out so we would be flying into Saint Louis. For most people on the flight, I knew this was a huge issue because they had relatives and friends expecting them in Kansas City. For me and my parents, we figured it worked out — we would just cancel our hotel and car reservations in Kansas City and stay the night in Saint Louis, pick up a car and do my dorm shopping in Saint Louis and my parents would drive that car to the Kansas City airport when they departed on Wednesday.

We finally landed (the entire plane erupted into cheers) and headed out to the gate. When we passed the pilots on the way out, I could tell they were pretty shaken. They had been flying for 16 hours straight at this point and with extreme weather. I passed them a “Great job,” and one pilot told me that that meant so much to him. I’m glad. United was pretty efficient with getting hotel bookings for the night so we headed out and grabbed our bags and took a shuttle to the hotel which was only about five minutes away from the airport. It was now about 2:30 in the morning. The people who were taking the flight back to Kansas City had to be at the airport around 7am, so they weren’t looking to get much sleep. My parents and I finally got into our hotel room and crashed without doing anything else at 3:16am. I woke up around 11:30am to my parents trying to figure out what we were going to do because they had called rental companies and no company would let them take a car out from Saint Louis and return it at Kansas City. Not to mention that most rental companies just had no cars because they had all been taken out since August is a big month with college move-ins and whatnot.

My mom, being the wonder woman that she is, headed out of the hotel and went back to the airport to try and get a car. Initially she had no luck and it looked like we would have to fly to Chicago (where the weather is even worse) and then fly out to Kansas City. But, she of course figured out something better and managed to snag a minivan that would be returned at 2pm. She then went to United and negotiated them to get their flight changed so that they are now leaving from Saint Louis rather than Kansas City. So my parents will have to leave me a little earlier on Wednesday morning but I guess that’s what it’ll take for everything else to work out. So now I’m sitting in the lobby of the hotel at 1:37pm, waiting for my parents to come back with the car. I’ve looked up and printed directions to Walmart (SUPER CENTER!), Bed Bath & Beyond, and Costco (in that order) on the way to Columbia and have a bright yellow piece of paper with every item I need for my dorm room.

I hear that college shopping can be kind of stressful but I figure that if I’ve survived just getting here (with my dad, mind you), shopping will be a piece of cake! Cross your fingers for me anyway.